My biggest fear when I was severely depressed was that my sister would become depressed too and she wouldn’t be able to handle it and commit suicide. Sometimes I can’t breathe knowing that it’s not a distant fear anymore, I could wake up tomorrow and she would be gone. It’s like the air being knocked out of my lungs. It’s suffocating fear and nothing I can do but be here for her. What if that’s not enough? It’s already not enough to keep her from cutting. It’s just helpless. Pure helplessness and I hate it. I hate depression. Is should not be common for a 12 year old to be depressed, cutting and suicidal. This world is just so dark and broken. Things like this shouldn’t happen.
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn